MCC Blog

Little eight-year-old Ryan was facing yet another surgery.  The medical staff began to roll his surgical bed to the operating room as his parents reassured Ryan once again everything would be okay.  Ryan sat up in the bed and looked his father in the eyes and pleaded, “Dad, don’t let them take me!”

The dad remembers: “My heart was broken.  I would have done anything to take him off that bed except that he had to have the surgery.  That knowledge didn’t ease the pain in my heart at all.  I just stood there trembling as the doors closed, and he disappeared.  That’s when I collapsed and broke down in tears.  When I was asked God how good love could hurt so much, I realized that God had gone through the same thing.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus pleaded: ‘Father, if there is any other way, don’t let them take Me.’ ”  The dad allowed doctors to take his son Ryan for his good.  God allowed crucifiers to take His Son Jesus for our good.  God loved us enough to rescue us because we were helpless to rescue ourselves!  Healthy rescuing helps the helpless; unhealthy rescuing enables the helpless.

In Luke 22:39-40, ³⁹Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and His disciples followed Him.  ⁴⁰On reaching the place, He said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” (NIV)

In the gospel of Matthew, Peter, John, and James are asked to “Stay here and keep watch with Me.”  Jesus asked for human support in the midst of crisis.  His request is phrased in strong language that meant: “Stay awake!  The stakes are supremely high for you and Me!”

 1. Jesus as a rescuer did not go alone.

When we rescue, we often try to do it all ourselves.

Luke 22:41-44, ⁴¹He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, ⁴²“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”  ⁴³An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him.  ⁴⁴And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

Jesus’ prayer is a model of continuing dependence on God.  Prayer is not a preamble or a ritual, rather prayer is the lifeblood of relationship with God.  The gospel of Mark tells us that Jesus called God “Abba” (or “Daddy”) which shattered all traditions of piety.  Jesus poured out His heart in relationship to God because He knew that God listens and cares how we feel.

Gethsemane means “wine or olive press” to suggest that this will be a place of deep pressing of the soul—even unto death as Matthew reports.  Jesus emotional agony was severe as He poured out His heart; His full humanity is on display!  Dr. Luke even makes reference to Jesus’ deep grief bursting veins to mingle His blood with His sweat.

2. Jesus as a rescuer prayed with trust and emotion.

When we rescue, we too often don’t ask God if He wants us to intervene.  We see pain and try to fix it and make it go away.

So what was this “cup” that Jesus prayed to be removed?  First, let me say that Jesus was not sinning by asking this.  It was a testing that He must face, because there is no easy Calvary even for Jesus.  We find in Gethsemane perfect relationship and perfect submission to the Father.

So what did Jesus want to avoid?  Perhaps separation from family? abandonment by His disciples? the shame of execution as a criminal? the pain of a slow and agonizing death? demonic attack? the horror of becoming a sin offering for all the sins of all mankind?

Perhaps it was God’s condemnation of sin when the Father turned His back as He looked at Jesus and saw sin.  In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus anticipated that for the first time in all eternity, He would be separated from the Father and the Spirit.  His anguish would find its full expression when He cried out “My God, my God why have You forsaken Me?”

Matthew 26:37 describes Jesus’ emotional state as troubled, which in Greek originally could mean “away from home.”  Jesus would be away from God and feel God’s full wrath as He hung on the Cross.

Jesus was the pure, healthy rescuer.  His rescue of us was not tainted with any bad motives or unhealthy needs to fix things.  Jesus didn’t have to rescue us; He chose to rescue us.  Jesus was not a resentful martyr or an unwilling pawn; He was a courageous hero.

3. Jesus as a rescuer did not sacrifice needlessly.

Too often we find ourselves caught up in “rescuing” that’s more for our sake than another’s sake.   Psychologists describe the rescuer as trying to make up for inner feelings of inadequacy by doing and being “good.”  The payoff is good feelings that come from building your identity of thinking you are a caring and self-sacrificing person.  In contrast, biblical self-sacrifice is done with the right motives.

The price tag is that we rescuers often bury our own thoughts and emotions.  Needing to be needed is substituted for being who God made us to be.  We rescuers avoid tension and push problems away by trying to “fix” everything around us.  Rescuers are insecure deep down.

Jesus never sacrificed Himself out of insecurity.  He gave Himself away from a place of fullness, not insecurity.  How much do you “rescue” others to build your identity of being a good person?  Do you bury your own thoughts and feelings in hope of fixing others?

Luke 22:45-46, ⁴⁵When He rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, He found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow.  ⁴⁶“Why are you sleeping?” He asked them. 

In the end, Jesus would face injustice and agony alone.  When no one stood with Him, He continued in the Father’s plan to save us.  Three times Peter, John, and James would fall asleep instead of watching and supporting.  Jesus would say, Could you men not keep watch with Me for one hour?  According to Matthew, after Jesus’ arrest the disciples all ran away (except John).

When you need people to respond the way you want, they will sooner or later disappoint you.

 4. Jesus as a rescuer knew people will disappoint.

Do you ever feel like it’s all up to you?  Do you ever wonder if you are sacrificing yourself needlessly because nothing around you seems to change?  Do you feel hurt or resentful when people disappoint you after you have done so much for them?

God wants you to sacrifice yourself without expecting something back, even when others don’t respond.  God wants you to sacrifice as an act of worship, not to fix the disappointing people around you.

Luke 22:47-50, ⁴⁷While He was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them.  He approached Jesus to kiss Him, ⁴⁸but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”  ⁴⁹When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?”  ⁵⁰And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.

  A kiss was a common mode of greeting to show respect.  Judas chooses to use the sign of a kiss—betrayal with an act of friendship.  Maybe Judas thought his kiss would disguise his motives, but Jesus knew his heart.  We too should not be shocked when we experience rejection from those we seek to help!

The arrest was made by the Levite temple police backed by Roman soldiers from the garrison in Antonia.  They came armed with swords and clubs as if Jesus was a dangerous revolutionary.

Protecting Jesus seemed the greatest of life-and-death issues, yet Jesus did not want protection.  A full Roman legion had 6,100 foot and 726 horses.  Jesus could have called on more than 12 legions of angels (one for each apostle).  Peter drew his sword and tried to rescue Jesus by force.  We can guess Peter was aiming to cut off more than an ear.

In Matthew 26:52 Jesus tells Peter: Put your sword back in its place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.  Jesus came to conquer by way of the Cross, not by way of the sword.

5. Jesus as a rescuer did not lash back in anger.

Sometimes rescuers create relationships of dependency with a “victim” who is being given the subtle message: “You really can’t care for yourself.”  Then we reach a breaking point when the people we so desperately tried to help don’t get better.  I can tell when I am moving into this dynamic when I find myself feeling like a parent wanting to scold those I am trying to help.  Then we recite to ourselves: “Look at all I’ve done for you; and this is how you repay me?!”  Rescuers really want to be appreciated.  We sacrifice ourselves grasping for affirmation that we are a valuable person!

Perhaps Judas was trapped in his own misguided rescue—disappointed that Jesus didn’t fulfill his expectations to overthrow the corrupt government.  So Judas becomes a “burned-out” rescuer.

Rescuers can turn from savior to slayer.  Sacrificing to keep the peace turns into lashing out against those who have not responded.  Rescuer becomes victim becomes persecutor.

How do you respond when things don’t go well after you have tried so hard to make it work?  Do you try to seize control, or just walk away in disgust and abandon the situation?  Maybe you have reached a point in a relationship where you feel you can’t take it anymore and you have turned on the person you have given so much to for all these years.  God does not intend that our sacrifice burns us out.

Luke 22:51, ⁵¹Jesus answered, “No more of this!  And He touched the man’s ear and healed him.

Jesus’ healthy rescuing also healed one of those who came to falsely arrest Him.  They came with violence against Jesus, but Jesus must have calmly bent down to the ground, picked up this man’s severed ear and restored it completely onto the man’s head.

6. Jesus as a rescuer healed those who tried to harm.

How do you respond to those who try to hurt you?  Fight back?  Ignore them completely as if they are invisible?  Or love them and minister to them like Jesus would?

A native in the Philippines named Nard Pugyao shares his story: “Sitting on top of a rock, I read the Gospel of Mark in my language for the first time.  It felt like I was actually there seeing the characters.  But the further I read, the more distressed I felt.  A mob of people took Jesus out of the Garden of Gethsemane.  What did He do wrong?  They accused him of all kinds of false things.  They mocked Him, spat on Him, beat Him, and took Him before Pilate.  Then the scourging and the crown of thorns.  It was excruciating to read how they forced Him to carry a wooden cross and then nailed Him to it.

“Deep in my heart, anger toward God swelled.  I shook my fist and shouted: ‘I hate you God for being so powerless!  Why should I believe in a powerless God like You?’  I couldn’t understand why God wouldn’t protect His own Son.  Our warriors defended us to the death.  Because of them, no one could touch us.  I wanted a god like that—someone who would protect me from the spirits that demanded we sacrifice our cows, chickens, pigs, and dogs.  This God didn’t even save His own Son!”

“Still I kept reading to see what happened next.  It was an incredible moment as I read that Jesus rose from the grave on the third day.  Nobody in all of our people had ever risen from the grave.  Suddenly, God reached down into my heart and said, ‘Nard, that’s how much I love you.  I gave My Son for you.’  For the first time, I understood grace and how God rescued me.  This story changed my life.”

Has Jesus’ story changed your life?  Have you learned how to receive God’s rescue of you because you couldn’t rescue yourself?  Do you feel free from trying to rescue your own sense of worth by “fixing” the people and things around you to find value?  When God fills you up, you can give out of the overflow instead of out of the emptiness!

See how you do on this quiz.  (3 or more may suggest an attitude of entitlement.)

1. If you deserve something, you should expect to get it.

2. I expect others to help me when I need something.

3. I am often under-recognized for who I am and what I do.

4. Others should treat me well if I am nice to them.

5. An important goal in life is the pursuit of happiness.

6. If you pray and go to church, then God should bless you.

7. If someone is struggling, s/he shouldn’t be a burden on others.

Samson thought he was special.  He had been set apart from God from conception to be a Nazirite.  Being special earned Samson lots of attention, favor, and blessing—not to mention supernatural strength.

In Judges 14:1-3 Samson is out on a walk just across the border in Philistia just 7 km. away, when he spies a beautiful Philistine girl.  He demands that his parents get her for him.  In ancient Near East culture, the father decided marriage for his children.  So Samson is going against authority and customs because he wants to choose his own wife.

Samson’s parents know this marriage violates God’s law.  Deuteronomy 7:3-4 says, Do not intermarry with [surrounding nations].  Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your son, for they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve their gods.  The Philistines are clearly not where Samson the Nazirite should be looking for a wife.

Samson dismisses his parents’ protest and still demands that his desires be met.  “Get her for me.  She’s hot, so she must be my right woman.”  Samson will risk his family and village by disobeying God.

A mindset of entitlement says, “Give me what I want right now; I don’t care about consequences.”  We can look around and see that entitlement and instant gratification are the norm in our world.  We all probably know a person that has Samson impulse control issues.  Maybe you’re living with a Samson or you are friends with a Samson or you work with a Samson.  The attention is on them!

Even if you don’t live a lavish lifestyle or get everything you want, entitlement can still be a challenge because it’s an attitude not a financial state.  We have come to expect that when we go to a store or restaurant our demands will be met.  We bring a similar consumer mentality into the church.  I should have my preferences met or I’ll go elsewhere.

Here’s the problem: Jesus never built His kingdom on the idea that His followers be served.  Jesus built His kingdom on the principle of giving up our needs for the sake of our neighbor.  Our mission is to go out from our safe place and make followers of Jesus.  Jesus kingdom is about sacrificing not consuming.  In entitlement, we limit what God can ask of us and do with us!

In Judges 14, Samson is determined to have this vision of beauty he has seen, so he returns to Timnah.  On the way, he is attacked by a lion and kills it with his bare hands.  However, touching a dead carcass violated a strict rule for Nazirites.  But Samson was hungry and the honey looked sweet, so he took what he thought he deserved—more impulse control issues.  Samson is bent on satisfying his appetites even if it violates a sacred oath.

I have to confess that when I’m tired and hungry, I feel entitled to something sweet.  When I was younger I could eat 10 hot donuts at a single sitting.  If one piece of pie was good, two was better.  Since I didn’t have a weight problem back then, I told myself it was okay.  Now I get headaches and feel bad when I eat too much sugar.  But I still crave the sugar and go through all of this self-talk to convince myself it’s not much sugar compared to what I used to eat, and it’s just this one time.  After all, I deserve it and it would really taste and feel good.  I eat sugar for comfort. … Sound familiar?

1. Entitlement expects satisfaction over sacrifice.

 This includes expecting favorable treatment and respected position.  This is not the attitude of the Cross.  Here is Jesus’ attitude:  Philippians 2:3-4, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (NIV updated)

An attitude of entitlement impacts many areas of our life: our time, our comfort, material possessions having the latest “gadgets”, our rights, our information, our recognition, our approval.  Jesus’ kingdom values call for us to pursue the opposite—sacrifice.

You have heard earlier about our financial report—how we need everyone to share as God has blessed them, not just the few.  Your giving can reflect either an attitude of sacrifice or an attitude of entitlement.  Jesus commended the widow who only gave a penny because she gave out of sacrifice.  Ask God what attitude your giving reflects, and what He would have you do?

 

Next in Judges 14:10-13, Samson is at his wedding.         This wedding feast was a weeklong celebration.  The word for “feast” actually meant “drinking party.”  Alcohol was prohibited for a Nazirite, but there was Samson nonetheless.  Evidently Samson didn’t have any Jewish friends willing to go to a Philistine wedding, so 30 attendants are provided him.

   To impress this new group, Samson poses a wager to solve a riddle.  Riddles were highly valued in the ancient Near East culture.  For Samson, it was a way to show off his cleverness.

The 30 sets of clothes were embroidered festal robes.  Owning just one would demonstrate a high social position, but owning 30 would be like being a king.  Samson’s special calling from God was not enough.  He craved more and more on a human level.  Samson wanted to be the center of attention to look impressive and act powerful with clever riddles.

 2. Entitlement focuses more on self than God.

If you were honest with yourself, which of those descriptions fits you more: focusing on yourself or living a life in the Spirit of God?

When the Philistines can’t solve Samson’s riddle, they threaten Samson’s wife to get Samson to tell her the answer.  So Samson loses the bet, so in verse 19-20, Samson was “burning with anger” because he didn’t like losing and being used by others.  So his lack of impulse control explodes out in mass violence.

But violence begets more violence as the situation deteriorates in Judges 15:1-5.

Later after Samson cools off, he wants to go see his wife and consummate the marriage.  This was a visitation marriage in the ancient Near East, where the wife remains with her parents and the husband makes periodic marital visits.  But Samson experiences a new disappointment when his desires are not met.  Samson doesn’t care how others feel and react.  He only wants to satisfy his thirst for revenge.

Samson catches 300 foxes to burn the Philistine’s grain, vineyards, and olive trees.  Samson destroys their food supply and doesn’t care if they starve.  His vengeful actions will cost his in-laws their lives.

 3. Entitlement uses others instead of serving others.

Entitlement looks at people for what they can do for us, how they can meet our needs.  Entitlement misses others’ feelings and needs.  People are a means to an end to get what we think we deserve.

I’m disappointed when my wife doesn’t meet all of my needs.  I can even use my kids to try to meet my needs.  If they turn out right, I have proof that I am a good parent.  This isn’t God’s plan for families.

Jesus’ life was a model of the very opposite.  He understood the feelings and needs of others.  He didn’t use people, rather He served them.

How aware are you of the needs of those around you?  Do you use people to help you, or do you serve people to be more like Jesus?

Two rugged, powerful mountain goats met on a narrow pathway joining two mountain ridges.  On one side was a chasm 350 meters deep; on the other, a steep cliff rising straight up.  The trail was so narrow that there was no room to turn around, and the goats could not back up without falling.  What would they do?  Instead of fighting for the right to pass, one of the goats laid down and made himself as flat as possible.  The other goat then walked over him, and they both passed safely.

That’s what Jesus did for us when He came to earth to die for our sins.  We were trapped between the chasm of our sin and the wall of God’s righteousness with no way to help ourselves.  By dying for sinful mankind, Jesus laid down and let us “walk over Him” so that we could receive forgiveness, instead of what we really deserved.  God wants us to adopt Jesus’ attitude of humility.  It’s the only attitude that can push back our bent toward entitlement.

Do you ever dream what it would be like to have everything?  When I was a boy, I dreamed of having it all: making the winning score with my amazing athletic skill, beautiful girlfriends, wealth, famous friends, a life of adventure traveling the world.  Then real life moved in.  I discovered I couldn’t have all of these things.  I was faced with an ordinary life.

There was a person who had it all in real life, but he was not happy and fulfilled.  He was trapped in apathy; life felt meaningless.  How could this happen?  How could he fall into the trap of apathy.

In Ecclesiastes 2:1-3, Solomon looks for meaning and fulfillment in all kinds of pleasures.   If a little pleasure is good, then more is better.  Advertising wants to convince us that pleasure is the main point of life.  We may disapprove of a life devoted to partying, yet our lives are saturated with television, movies, computer games, and music.  These things can be outlets for stress and relief from the hassles of life, but these things may come to consume us.

Author Kalle Lasn claims that media can stimulate us to the point of blunting our emotions.  “The more indifferent we become, the more voltage it takes to shock us.  This emotional caffeine has eroded our sensitivity—our ability to empathize.”  Saturation with media not only can numb our emotions, but can cloud our ability to relate.  A psychologist writes, “This generation is more bored and has grown used to a great deal of external stimulation.”  Significant relationships are exchanged for a “drug fix” of pleasure and entertainment.  Instead of seeking the support and growth of interchange with friends, we escape with electronic distractions.  We become more apathetic about life.

1. Apathy comes from being distracted by pleasure.

Are you satisfied in life, or apathetic about life?  What do you use to fill up your life?  Is pleasure a key component of your life?  If distractions still leave you feeling empty, where do you find purpose?

I eventually outgrew my childhood fantasies of being a star.  My quest for pleasure was replaced by a new quest: go to graduate school to have a productive career.  If pleasure wasn’t my fulfillment, then surely achievement would be.  But I discovered that no matter what academic diploma I received or what job advancement I gained, I still felt restless.  My restless spirit for more unsettled both me and Karan.

It was even more unsettling when people I knew who had made it to the top were still lonely and empty—more responsibility, less fulfillment.  They were going through the motions because there was no where else to go.  An author of successful novels was once asked what he would like to have known as a boy.  His answer: “That when you get to the top, there’s nothing there.”

So in Ecclesiastes 2:4-8, 11, 20, we find Solomon had it all—wealth, achievement, fame and wisdom, and every possession imaginable.  He had gold, jewels, expensive clothes, gourmet food, exotic animals, and the latest technology in modern weapons.  Solomon had achieved everything.  Maybe that’s part of the problem: when we achieve everything we want—there’s nothing left to live for and we become apathetic.

One day you will retire from your job and career.  If career has been the main source of your fulfillment and meaning in life, then what?  You are left with nothing.  For some, retirement means waiting for death.  When I had to recover from heart surgery some years ago, I was stuck at home on the couch for 2 months.  I had a taste of inactivity with no achievement.  It was not a taste that I want to experience again anytime soon.

 2. Apathy comes from relying on achievement. 

Do you ever find yourself striving to achieve something and leaving your true priorities behind?  As long as we keep striving to achieve, we never stop long enough to identify the wounds in our souls.  But someday when our achievements no longer fill our empty space, we will be staring directly into the hollow, lifeless eyes of apathy.  Instead, seize today to bring God’s kingdom to earth as it is in heaven!

Rewinding back to Ecclesiastes 1:2-9, Solomon’s title “the Teacher” means “one who gathers.”  “Searcher” might be a better label.  Solomon has searched and sampled many different ways to find fulfillment in life.  Instead, he found apathy—“everything is meaningless.”   Meaningless means something temporary and unsubstantial.  Nothing man does, no matter how hard he tries, will endure.

Even the earth itself is a series of cycles just like man.  Nature can’t provide meaning or purpose; it can only demonstrate repetitive patterns.  The sun rises and sets each and every day.  The wind constantly blows and shifts direction.  The water cycle of rain→evaporation→rain never ends.  Nature and man’s generations are just monotonous circles.  So what’s the purpose?  Will anything we have done with our life even be noticed, much less remembered?  Will we make any difference??

Nothing is really new under the sun, though there are variations.  Landing on the moon was a variation of discovering the New World.  Cell phones are a variation on smoke signals.  Space ships are a variation on chariots.  Technology brings us no closer to the meaning of life.

Solomon’s final conclusion is that we have a choice: resign to apathy or find meaning outside the circle.  Only God who exists outside time and space can step into history to provide life with meaning.  God intervened into the circles of nature and man’s generations to provide redemption that gives life meaning and direction.  Life without God has little meaning in the end.  Settling for spiritual mediocrity is a partial surrender to apathy.

3. Apathy comes from life without God.

Do you find yourself feeling like your life is a tiny speck in an endless cycle?  No matter how much you distract yourself or what you achieve, it doesn’t fill your soul?  Perhaps this emptiness has led to apathy—a feeling of “whatever”—nothing really has meaning.  You are just going through the motions, wondering if something is missing.

Something IS missing.  Do you see your life as a story with meaning and direction?  Is your story connected to God’s bigger story of redemption?  God is the counterpoint to apathy!

Author Erwin McManus was speaking at a conference in Florida and brought his family along for vacation.  One morning Erwin and his 10-year-old son Aaron were walking down to the beach.  A double amputee with specialized crutches was awkwardly making his way out of the ocean water.  As he attempted to navigate his way back up to the hotel, he fell.  He pulled himself up again only to fall a second time.  Erwin pretended not to notice and nudged Aaron in the opposite direction.  Everyone on the beach also ignored the man.  Erwin’s son surprised him by saying, “Dad, I have to go help that man.”

McManus writes, “His words pierced through me, and I stood there paralyzed in my hypocrisy … it was clear that Aaron was seizing his divine moment.  I had missed mine.  Aaron’s compassion moved him to heroism.”  Aaron went down to help the man but was unable to lift him.  But several people from the crowd came and worked as a team to get the man up to the sidewalk.  Aaron walked back up to his father with tears in his eyes and said, “I couldn’t help him, dad.  I wasn’t strong enough.”  The truth was that no one would have helped the man if Aaron hadn’t cared enough to take the initiative.

So how does apathy worm its way into our lives?  Would you do what Aaron did?  Spiritually are you willing to sacrifice to live a passionate life for God that gets involved in others’ lives even if it’s messy?  Inserting yourself into the mosaic of God’s story is the ultimate cure for apathy!

How do you strive to get approval from those around you?  King Saul had problems with approval in 1 Samuel 13.  The Philistines were a fierce people with advanced weapons, so they often tormented Israel.  When King Saul called Israel to war, too few came to fight.  Those who did come were terrified when they saw how huge the Philistine army was.  So many ran away to hide.  It was a tense situation.

Samuel the priest had told King Saul to wait 7 days for him to come.  But a week later Samuel hasn’t shown up to make the offering to get God’s blessing.  So Saul looks around at his men becoming more and more frightened, and fewer and fewer in number, and he panics.  He thinks: “I have to DO SOMETHING.  I have to make the burnt offering to God myself so God will give us victory!  We have to do the ‘religious’ thing.”  It sounds so spiritual except that Saul knows he is disobeying Samuel.  More importantly, Saul knows he is ignoring God’s law because only a priest can make this offering.

 

God is stretching Saul to test his faith.  Samuel shows up late, but Saul won’t wait any longer than he has to.  Saul thinks the rules don’t apply to him.

Sometimes God stretches us to test our faith.  Automakers don’t test their cars by gently driving them around the block a few times.  They put cars on test tracks with bumps and turns over long distances exposed to high heat and severe cold.  When God stretches “our limits,” our faith is revealed.

Will we trust in God or strive to get the approval of those around us?  This sounds like an easy choice, but it’s not.  I can identify with Saul.  When I have to wait and trust God’s timing, I get impatient and want to force something.  I don’t want people to lose confidence in me.  I want people to approve of me and like what I do.  I end up doing things I regret.  Do you find it hard to wait on God?

Samuel ignores Saul’s cheerful public greeting and cuts to the heart: “What have you done?!”  Saul offers only excuses: “The men were scattering and you were late Samuel, not to mention that the Philistines were getting stronger by the minute.”  Things were turning bad quickly.  Saul desperately wanted the men’s approval so they would not run away.

Saul adds a spiritual excuse: “I had not yet begged the Lord’s favor.”  Saul sees the burnt offering like a magic power to get God’s help and blessing so people will follow him.

When Saul says: “I felt obliged to offer the burnt offering” he is really saying: “I had to get back the men’s approval.”  Saul relied on himself rather than God.  Saul wanted to look like he was in control.

1. Do you focus more on God or on man to get approval?

Whose approval drives your life?  How do you try to make people like you?  What compromises have you made for approval?  Do you ever take matters into your own hands and try to fix a situation instead of waiting on God to work things out in His way and in His time?  Have you ever been like Saul and tried to force God’s hand and then regretted it?

 

In another incident in King Saul’s life in 1 Samuel 15, Saul had been commanded to totally destroy all these corrupt people.  So he kills everyone … except King Agag.  Saul wants to use Agag like a war trophy to show-off his power.  Saul once again ignores God’s command and then takes credit for the success by building a monument to himself!

Saul allows the soldiers to keep the best sheep and cattle, but totally destroys the inferior animals.  So Saul picks the parts of God’s commands he likes and only obeys those.

Saul justifies his partial obedience with: “They spared the best … to sacrifice to the Lord YOUR God.”  This way Saul’s men still get to eat the sacrificial animals in a big barbecue and they can add the extra animals to their own herds.  This would certainly make Saul popular with the soldiers!

Saul once considered himself a nobody (smallest clan of the smallest tribe, hiding in the luggage) because image was everything to Saul.  It drove him to do anything for approval.  Finally Saul admits his disobedience: “I was afraid of the people.”  Saul’s identity depended on the approval of the people.

Saul still begs Samuel to come back with him so that Saul can worship in public in front of the people.  Saul is saying something like: “O.K., O.K., so I messed up.  I admit it.  Now, can we get on with my life?  Stay with me and worship so I will still look good before the people.”  Saul is still more concerned with people’s approval than with the condition of his own heart.

            2. Is your identity influenced more by fear of man or worship of God?

One writer said, “I cannot give you the formula for success.  But I can give you a formula for failure: Try to please everyone.”  Approval can take over your life.  What areas does it affect.  How can you break the hold of approval-seeking in that area?

           A business executive remarked, “The trouble with the formula for success is that it’s the same as the formula for a nervous breakdown.”  When you evaluate someone or something, do you count down from 100% to notice all the mistakes?  Or do you count up from 0% to notice all that is accomplished?

 

 

Take a perfectionism quiz.  (How many do you have?)

 

1. If I do my best and try hard enough, I can remove most mistakes and shortcomings.

2. I like to be in control of my surroundings and myself at all times.

3. If I can’t do something right, I don’t do it at all.

4. I must do everything well to feel good about myself.

5. I feel like any activity that isn’t productive is a failure or a poor use of time.

6. If I make a mistake, I think I deserve to be criticized.

7. If anyone criticizes me, I feel that I have failed.

Moses exhibited some of these attitudes in Exodus 3 & 4.  Moses tried to deliver Israel in his own power 40 years earlier and failed.  Since then he has been moping in the desert tending sheep.  God now appears to him in a burning bush with a divine mission.

In Exodus 3:10-12, Moses’ first tells God: “I am nobody, just a shepherd.  I’m not adequate, God!”

In a perfectionist mindset you fear others may discover the real truth about you—that you are defective no matter how successful you may be on the outside.  When you do succeed, you downplay your role, “It was nothing; anyone could have done it.”  False humility is really self-protection!

Notice that God doesn’t argue: “No, no Moses, you’re really a talented guy.”  Instead, God says,

“I will be with you.”  God’s Spirit creates a new heart in us to help us accomplish His purposes.

When perfectionism clouds our mind, we miss a fundamental truth about the Christian faith:  “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Do you live in fear that every mistake makes you inadequate?  Satan the accuser lies to you that you are no good.  He wants you to miss the liberating truth of God’s grace and acceptance.  So don’t live in shame and isolation!

Have you ever noticed how easily we remember the times that we felt inadequate?

1. Do you focus on your inadequacies or how God made you?   

When you focus on your inadequacies, your vision of God is blocked.  God wants you to be who He created you to be—no more, no less.  God has placed within you something that the world around you needs—a gift, a talent, a perspective, a heart to share.  When you try to be something else, you miss who God made you to be.  Do you know who God created you to be?  Are you willing to use the heart God has redeemed in you in the unique way God has for you?

Next in Exodus 4:1, Moses is really saying, “What if I fail?”  God had already promised Moses success.  Yet, Moses is still worried about failing.  Perfectionists are task-oriented; so when they perform somewhere less than perfectly, they feel guilty.  They put unrealistically high standards on themselves they can’t maintain.  The bottom line is they feel valued for what they do in life, not for who they are.  Failed task = failed person.

God does not leave Moses to his own resources.  He gives Moses an impressive arsenal of miraculous signs: a staff that turns into a snake, a hand that becomes leprous, and water turning to blood.  God’s resources will empower Moses to succeed in the way God wants.

Moses would still face opposition from his own people.  So one of the keys to recovering from perfectionism is to realize that only God’s expectations really count!  Human expectations are often a poor measure of performance.  You will never please everyone!

2. Do you fear failure or take a risk for God? 

George Smith was a missionary in Africa.  He was there just a short time when he was driven out of the country.  He had won only a single convert—a destitute woman with no influence in her village.  George Smith died a few months afterward and was considered by many to have been a failure.

Years later other missionaries discovered the place where George had witnessed.  They found a copy of the Scriptures he had left behind and met the woman he had led to Christ.  They were shocked to learn that a church had been started.  His mission board estimated that more than 13,000 believers sprang from that one woman George Smith had introduced to Jesus!  Hardly a failure after all!

Failure is a reality of life.  Our world demands success in everything from sports to business to home life.  But God does not abandon us when we fail.  Are you willing to move outside human expectations to seize your divine calling?  Will you step outside your box and risk failure for God’s kingdom?  When you say “I can’t attempt anything for God until I have my self all together first!” then you limit how God uses you!

One author say: “If we fail, we will fail falling forward and our fallen bodies will point the way to Jesus.”  I want to take that kind of risk for God and break out of the bondage of perfectionism.  I want to find a freer, more fulfilling life.  How about you?  How much are you willing to risk?

Continuing in Exodus 4:10-12, Moses’ third objection was: “I can’t speak well, so I will look bad.”  Moses knew from growing up in Pharaoh’s palace that eloquent speaking was highly valued in Egyptian society.  Moses cannot picture how he is going to speak effectively even with supernatural miracles!  Moses is trying to manage every detail of life.  He is still worrying about his own image.

Perfectionists try to stay on top of every detail to make them turn out right.  They micro-manage tasks and people’s reactions.  They live by the saying, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”  They are more rule-oriented than grace-oriented, so they miss the synergy of other people.

God’s response reminds Moses who is really in control.  God says, “Moses, I created each person, so I can handle the small detail of speech.”  God doesn’t demand that Moses speak perfectly; God just wants him to follow.  Moses will not only succeed in leading Israel out of slavery, but he will help establish them as a nation.  God will use Moses’ strength in detail and task-orientation in mighty ways!

Like Moses, we miss that God wants us to realize there are things we cannot know.  We live with mystery because we cannot comprehend all there is about God and how He works.  When we live for management and control, we miss the creative mystery of God.  Living in mystery frees us to do what God has uniquely called us to do.

      3. Do you manage details or embrace mystery?

A sports writer interviewed a sports star after he had won a second championship.  The sports star was clearly driven by something more than fame.  After his first championship, this athlete recalled, “Here I was at the top of my professional game and I found myself thinking, ‘Now what?  Now what?’ ”

The writer asked: “Why would you feel that way?”

The sports star responded: “Isn’t that what it’s all about—to keep raising the bar for yourself?”

It is precisely this attitude that makes this athlete such a fierce player—but it is also his curse.  He confesses, “I’ve always known that the lows have been lower for me than the highs have been high.”

After a loss, he does not answer the phone, even when friends or family call to console him.  He lies in bed and replays each play of the game in his mind over and over.

Living life dedicated to trying to manage my world and reduce my risk is a prison.  It saps the joy and peace right out of life.  When I’m trapped in managing life, I ruminate about what I could have done better and rehearse how I will perform in the future.

There’s a better purpose in life: live in God’s mystery and pursue the adventure God has!  Where is your focus in life—manage details to make everything turn out reasonably right, OR embrace mystery?

Finally in Exodus 4:13-14a, Moses’ last objection “Send someone else” cuts to the heart of the problem: unwillingness.  Moses would rather stay in the desert tending sheep than deliver his people from slavery.  Some perfectionists are more committed to a familiar, predictable monotony than following God’s unknown plan.  As much as we hate to admit it, we would rather someone else go and we will support them from a safe distance.

God accommodates Moses’ request, but He is angry.  Moses will now miss the fullness of God’s blessing and how he could have been used by God more mightily.

As it turns out, Aaron and his silver tongue were not fully ready for such a large spiritual leadership role.  Aaron would later promote idolatry while Moses was up on Mount Sinai in Exodus 32.

4. Do you cling to the familiar or launch out for God? 

When we resist God, we miss the fullness of His blessing.  Do you tend to cling to the familiar and hide from the world?  Or are you willing to launch out and impact the world?

When is the last time you felt rejected?  How did you respond? … How are we to heal from rejection?

Genesis 29:17 says: Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. (NIV)  This is a classic contrast of sisters.  Leah’s “weak eyes” didn’t mean she had thick glasses and was legally blind.  In contrast to Rachel, Leah was not good looking.

Rachel is described as “lovely of face and figure.”  Rachel seemed to have it all.  Plus we get a hint of her lively personality a few verses later when she says to Jacob, “Give me children or I’ll die!”

1. The world evaluates by externals.

One psychology study found that we consistently judge beautiful people to be “more interesting, kind, intelligent, sociable, and exciting” than less attractive people.  Teachers considered less attractive children more likely to be troublemakers.  Higher salary levels and greater advancement was correlated more often with attractiveness for men and women of all ages and in all fields.

We also learn that quiet personalities receive less attention and are less popular than extroverted personalities.  Introverts sense their personality is less valued.

So from early on we experience rejection based on our appearance and personality.  Never mind that God created diversity in appearance and personality!  We accept and reject based on outward standards.

 What standards do you use to accept or reject people? appearance? personality? social status? money they have? how successful they are?

The key question is: Are these God’s standards??  God values character, compassion, and sacrifice.

In Genesis 29:25-30 Jacob wakes up from his wedding night and discovers that his father-in-law switched brides.  He is now married to Rachel’s older sister Leah.  Imagine being Leah: your father is afraid he won’t be able to marry you off, so he tricks an unwilling husband into marry you.  Plus, your beautiful sister is there every day.

A major problem in the household is that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah.  Jacob was more attracted to Rachel based on appearance and personality.  Jacob had big plans to fulfill God’s promise of an heir to God’s blessings through Rachel.  Jacob is trying to control God’s promises, so he rejects Leah.

Leah was a pawn in a sick family system.  She bore the brunt of their sin by being only partially loved.  This partiality set up an atmosphere of deception, competition, and manipulation (last week).

   2. Conditional love rejects.  Incomplete love masquerades as true love.

Every family has generational weaknesses—certain attitudes and character struggles that are passed along from generation to generation.  Healing a family pattern usually takes more than one generation.

Dave Simmons tells about his childhood.  His military father was extremely demanding, rarely saying a kind word, and constantly pushing him with harsh criticism to do better.  When Dave was a little boy, his dad gave him a bicycle, unassembled, and told him to put it together.  After Dave struggled to the point of tears, his father said: “I knew you couldn’t do it.”  Then he assembled it for him.

When Dave played sports in high school, his father was unrelenting in his criticisms.  After every game his dad would go over every mistake Dave made.  “Most boys got butterflies in the stomach before the game; I got them afterwards.  Facing my father was more stressful than facing any opposing team.”  Dave hated his father and his father’s harshness.

Dave played sports in college as far away from home as he could.  After college, he was a 2^nd round draft pick for a professional team.  “Excited, I telephoned my father to tell him the good news.  Dad said, ‘How does it feel to be second?’ ”  I would want to avoid this father, would you?

But Dave met Jesus Christ and God’s love drew him back to his father.  During visits home Dave listened with interest to what his father had to say.  He learned for the first time about his grandfather—a tough lumberjack known for his violent temper.  Once his grandfather destroyed a pickup truck with a sledgehammer because it wouldn’t start, and he often beat Dave’s father.  Dave recalls, “Knowing about my father’s upbringing made me more sympathetic and helped me see that, under the circumstances, my father might have been much worse.  When dad died, I can honestly say we were friends.”

What family patterns affect you?  What rejections haunt you?  How do you need God’s healing?

In Genesis 29:31-35 it doesn’t escape God’s notice when His people are unloved and rejected.  Jacob’s favoritism and partial love were made Leah felt like a reject, something to be thrown in the trash.  But Leah was unloved because of Jacob’s weaknesses, not hers.  Sometimes we will be rejected and it has nothing to do with us.  After all, Jesus was rejected too!

God doesn’t abandon Leah.  He opens her womb, while making Rachel barren.  God blesses Leah by providing children to enrich her life.  Leah will experience love as a parent since she is rejected as a wife.  God also frustrates Jacob and Rachel’s self-serving plan.  In God’s plan, Leah will fulfill the role of mother-heir of the promises God gave to Abraham and Isaac.

Leah will become mother to 6 of 13 tribes of Israel.  When Leah dies, she will be buried next to Jacob with Abraham-Sarah and Isaac-Rebekah (49:31).  In contrast, Rachel will be buried alone on the way to Bethlehem (Genesis 35:19).

The names of Leah’s 4 sons are a picture of her faith journey toward God:

                 Reuben means “see, a son.” Now Jacob will see her worth as the mother of his first born son.

                 When that doesn’t work, Simeon is born.  His name means “hears me.”  Leah sees that God hears her.  Simeon is her hope to convince Jacob to listen to God and love her.

 Her third son Levi means “attached.”  Leah hopes now that three sons will attach Jacob’s attention to her.  This son will one day be the tribe that serves as the priests or intercessors to God for the whole nation Israel.  This is also part of her inheritance of God’s promises.

 With the fourth son Judah, there is a shift in Leah’s response.  Up until now her focus has been on winning Jacob’s love by bearing him sons.  Now she says, “This time I will praise the Lord.”  Judah’s name meant “praise.”  Leah’s faith break-through was coming to recognize that to be loved and led by God is a far greater thing than to be loved by any man.  While Jacob’s affection was still something she desired, now she was content with the abundant love of God.

Judah is the most significant of the twelve sons because he is the tribe from which the Messiah will come.  God’s spiritual promise to Abraham is fulfilled through Jesus of the tribe of Judah.  Leah will be the great, great, etc. grandmother to Jesus.  God was abundantly faithful to Leah!

            3. God draws the rejected to depend on Him.  In the end, it’s only God’s opinion of us that really counts! 

A young man named Bryan was driving home in his beat-up car on a deserted road as darkness fell.  Bryan had no job and the winter chill was made worse by a light snow falling.  Bryan noticed an elderly lady stopped on the side of the road.  He pulled over in front of her Mercedes.  Even though Bryan smiled, she was worried.  No one had stopped to help for over an hour.  This guy didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

Bryan could see she was frightened, so he said, “I am Bryan and I am here to help you ma’am.  Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm?”  As Bryan changed her flat tire, the elderly woman rolled down the window and began talking to him.  She couldn’t thank him enough and asked him how much she owed him.  Bryan never thought twice about the money; this was helping someone in need.  He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give assistance.  Then Bryan added “and think of me.”  Bryan felt good as he headed home.

Down the road the elderly lady stopped at a small, run-down cafe.  The waitress had a sweet smile even though she looked tired.  She also noticed the waitress was very pregnant.  The lady wondered how someone with so little could be so cheerful.  Then she remembered Bryan.  After the elderly lady finished her meal, she paid with a $100 bill.  As the waitress went to get change, the lady slipped out the door.

When the waitress returned, she noticed something written on a napkin.  It said, “You don’t owe me anything, I have been there too.  Somebody recently helped ME the way I am helping you.  If you really want to pay me back, don’t let this chain of love end with you.”

That night when the waitress got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written.  How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it?  With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard.  She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a gentle kiss and whispered soft and low: “Everything is gonna be alright.  I love you, Bryan.”

God can erase our rejections.  God will provide for our physical and emotional needs.  How has God sustained you during rejection?  How has God given you a new identity when you felt like a reject?  God’s calling for us is to be His hands and feet to carry His healing to those rejected around us.  Pass it on!

Do you struggle with trusting God when things are going in the wrong direction?  Do you find it hard to wait on God?  I find myself wanting to jump in and control.  I want to make sure things turn out the way they should—which is my way.  It’s hard not to protect our interests, isn’t it?

Genesis 25 is filled with family drama.  Abraham and Isaac had received the promise from God, but which son will inherit the promise next?  Family members control and connive to get the promise any way possible.  They will demonstrate three different styles of controlling.

Esau in the oldest Genesis 25:23, 27-33 was a man’s man from birth.  He looked manly—hairy and bloody.  Even his name Esau (or red) was related to his intimidating appearance.

Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the open country who killed for a living.  He had an intimidating occupation.  If Esau were alive today, he would probably hunt big game, play rugby, drive a Harley, and hang out at a bar.

Esau was controlled by his appetites.  One day after hunting all day, he came in exhausted and hungry, demanding to eat right now!”  Esau had an intimidating manner—“Get me what I want NOW!”  Satisfy me!  Esau craved the things of this world more than the things of God.

A birthright gave the first born a double portion of the inheritance, which included wealth, leadership of the clan, and in this case—God’s promises to Abraham.  Yet Esau despised this birthright as worthless.  Future promises meant little to Esau who lived for today.  Esau had an intimidating attitude.

In 27:41 Esau vows to kill Jacob.  Esau used intimidating methods.

                    1. Some control by intimidation.

We usually think of intimidation as physical coercion.  But intimidation can be threats, harsh words, mean tone of voice, using your intellect to show you know more, correcting, put-downs, a cold stare—aggressive ways to promote self at the expense of others.  Do you use any of these tactics to control?

Isaac has other ideas in Genesis 27:2-4.  He knew God’s prophecy “the older will serve the younger.”  God had chosen Isaac over his older brother Ishmael, yet Isaac favored Esau and planned to give his blessing and destiny to Esau.  Yet Isaac’s blessing in Genesis 27:29 would be: May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you.  Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.

Isaac is trying to undo Esau losing his birthright by giving Esau his blessing.  Isaac is trying to go around God’s plan.  Maybe he was afraid God would over-look Esau.  So he somehow “forgets” the prophecy at the birth of his sons.  The bottom line: Isaac lacked confidence in God.

 2. Some control by ignoring God’s plan.

Truth be told, we all have ways that we conveniently ignore God’s plan—especially those parts we don’t understand or don’t like.  Are we really much different than Isaac?

We explain compromises with “Everyone is doing it!”

We explain materialism with “I have earned God’s blessings.”

We explain hurting another with “They deserved it.”

We explain lying with “I was protecting the situation.”

We explain spiritual inactivity with “I’m too busy or I’m too tired.”

In the Scottish Highlands some sheep will wander off in search of sweeter grass.  Sometimes, they jump down onto a ledge 3 meters below and can’t get back up again.  The shepherd will hear them bleating in distress.  The sheep may be trapped for days, but the shepherd will wait until they are so faint that they can’t stand.  Then he will put a rope around himself, and go down and pull that sheep up out of danger.  Someone asks, “Why don’t you go down when the sheep first gets stuck?”  The shepherd explains, “Because the sheep are so stubborn they would jump right over the cliff to escape!”

Like sheep, we run away from God.  We don’t trust His plan until our ways don’t work.  God let Isaac struggle until he failed, then God’s worked His plan.  How are you like Isaac—saying you love Jesus while ignoring God’s plan?  If MCC is an oasis of transformed Jesus worshippers, that means we pursue God’s agenda over our own.  But be warned: God’s agenda will take us out of our comfort zones!

Next in Genesis 27:5-17, Rebekah enters the drama.  A huge source of family conflict goes back to favoritism: “Isaac loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”  There was a lack of trust in God and in each other.  If trust is the basic building block of relationships, then this family was in trouble at its very foundation.

At birth Jacob grabbed Esau’s heel, so Jacob’s name meant “heel grabber”—prophetic of his character of tricking others to get what he wants.  Jacob would use his craftiness (like Satan in Eden) for much of his life to try to outsmart his opponent.  The flesh cares for itself and uses others.  Jacob doesn’t trust God to work things out and fulfill His promise.

So after hearing his mother’s scheme to gain the blessing, Jacob doesn’t say, “This deception is not honorable.  Instead he says, “I’ll get caught and bring down a curse on myself.”  It isn’t character stopping Jacob; it’s the fear of consequences.

Rebekah was Jacob’s mentor in this deceptive, manipulative lifestyle.  Her assumption was that God could not or would not bring to pass what He had promised to Jacob unless God had her help.

Rebekah’s plan was based on blatant deception because she believed “the end justifies the means.”  Rebekah is afraid Isaac will ruin God’s plan.  Maybe she did it with a mask of devotion: “If I don’t do this now, God’s plan for my son will be lost forever, and I just want to be … used of God.”

Rebekah will pay a large price for her manipulation.  After stealing Esau’s blessing, Jacob has to run for his life and Rebekah will never see him again.  She will never witness God fulfill His promise.

 3. Some control by manipulation.     

We can’t use the weapons of the flesh to fight spiritual battles.  Our manipulation—no matter how right we think our cause is—cannot be justified.  Our control sometimes masquerades as spirituality.  We have to use God’s methods to accomplish God’s purposes to receive God’s blessing.

            A man and his wife were driving a horse and carriage along a narrow and dangerous stretch of road.  The woman became very nervous, and in her panic she grabbed one of the reins.  The husband offered her the other rein.  She yelled, “I don’t want them both!  I could never manage that horse alone!”  The husband said gently, “Well, then you must make your choice.  It’s either you or me.  We can’t both drive the same horse!”

            God is saying the same to Rebekah and Jacob: “We can’t both drive this spiritual carriage.  You will just have to trust Me and not use your manipulative, fleshly methods to accomplish My spiritual goals.”

• Others may not notice your efforts or give someone else the credit—Do it anyway as unto Me, for I will honor your obedience.

• A job you’ve done may be rejected or canceled.—Do it anyway as unto Me, for I will bless the work of your hands.

• You may go out of your way to include others and later they exclude you.—Do it anyway as unto Me, for I will never leave you.

• Sometimes a commitment will mean sacrificing personal comfort.—Do it anyway as unto Me, for I am your reward.  (Adapted from “As Unto Me” by Roy Lessin)

You can make a clock strike before the hour by moving the hands forward, but it will strike wrong.   You can tear the rosebud open before its time, but you will mar its beauty.  So, you may spoil gifts of blessing God is preparing for you because of your control.  God’s plan for your life is perfect.  His ways are pure.  His timing is right.

How have you been like Esau and intimidated those around you?  Or like Isaac and ignored parts of God’s plan?  Or like Rebekah/Jacob and manipulated to get what you want?  Is there something in your life that you need to let go of control and wait on God?

The average man loses his temper 6 times a week; the average woman loses hers 3 times a week.  Men get angry at things (like machines breaking down), while women get angry more often at people.  People tend to express anger more often and more intensely toward family than toward strangers.

Just four chapters into the Bible, the first anger problem emerges between Cain and Abel.

In Genesis 4:3-5, God refused Cain’s offering because of heart attitude, not because it was crops instead of an animal sacrifice.  Abel offered the best part of the meat—tender and juicy.  Abel also offered the firstborn to show that God gets the first part of what we earn.  Abel expressed deep heart devotion.

Cain’s offering was not the best part, nor the first part that he earned.  Cain’s offering only fulfilled an obligation; perhaps he kept the best for himself.  God looked at Cain’s heart attitude.

Cain’s name means “to possess.”  Cain wants to be the master of his own life.  He expects good things in life and expects God to honor him.

Cain boils inside with anger because he didn’t get God’s blessing.  His face has a dark look as he broods about how unfair this is.  He will find a way to make Abel pay.  Blame is the cousin to anger.  So Cain goes off sulking.  Do you know someone like that?

Anger covers something deeper and more painful like hurt or fear.  When my wife Karan doesn’t take my advice (which of course is full of wisdom and insight), I make a sarcastic, angry remark.  But underneath I’m actually hurt that she ignored me.

Other times I get angry when I’m afraid.  When my kids do something risky and end up getting hurt, instead of rushing to comfort them, I yell at them: “What’s wrong with you?  Why did you do that?”  Actually I’m afraid of something happening to them, but it’s easier for me to get mad than to cry.  Anger somehow feels manlier than sadness.

1. Discover what anger is covering. 

Do you struggle with anger?  What hurts or fears is your anger covering?  What heart issues do you need to release?  Is your anger about your identity being rooted in how you look or how you perform, instead of how God sees you?  You need God to walk with you to explore the root of your anger.

Genesis 4:6, God knows our deepest motives, even the ones we hide from ourselves.  God questioned Cain not simply to scold him, but to open his eyes to his own bad attitude.  God offers a way out of anger—change your heart attitude so that your actions will become right.

God is still willing to accept Cain.  “Accepted” can mean lifted up.  Cain’s sulking face can be lifted up to gaze into the face of God.  Cain hasn’t been rejected; but he needs to seek God rather than himself.

In Genesis 4:7 God paints a chilling picture of sin crouching like a leopard hiding, waiting to pounce.  Sin will sneak up and deceive Cain, dragging him off to devour him.  Anger will come to master him.  Do you ever worry that anger is sneaking up on you to take over your life?

            Finally we come to the tragic conclusion in Genesis 4:8-9.  Cain does not choose God’s pathway; instead he devises his own solution.  Cain’s envy produced blame which gave birth to retaliation.  Cain lures Abel away privately and kills him—cold, premeditated murder.  Cain tries to destroy his source of pain.  We want to change the situation rather than ourselves.

Cain lies to God and refuses any responsibility.  His anger is now indifferent.  But in God’s eyes, we are indeed our “brother’s keeper”!  Do you ever want to isolate yourself instead of getting involved helping others?  Followers of Jesus don’t have the luxury of isolating.

Stuffing anger causes it to come out in indirect ways sooner or later.  Indirect anger tries to get your way without having to admit you’re angry, like walking away and pouting.  You’re avoiding the problem between you and the other person.  The silent treatment, emotional withdrawal, or talking about someone behind their back can be a sign of stuffed anger.

Spewing anger takes your struggles out on persons and things around you.  Anger reaches a boiling point and erupts like a volcano.  You might blame or criticize or yell at the person.  Spewing anger injures relationships.  Belittling, cursing, breaking things, throwing things, verbal attacks, and physical violence are signs of spewed anger.

How do you wrongly handled anger in your life?  How do you stuff or spew?

2. Allow God to heal anger. 

An old proverb says, “The emptier the pot, the quicker it boils.”  The less the HS has filled me, the quicker my internal pot boils over.  To resolve anger, I need God to fill me with His love and grace.

It’s very hard to control anger in your own strength.  Lay your anger before God and ask Him to help you explore His perspective to handle your frustrations.

You may need to ask a friend to walk with you through your situation to gain some objective clarity.  It’s challenging because we have a lot of shame attached to our anger; it’s tough to admit we have an anger problem!  Life Groups are a great support system to grow through your struggles, including anger.

Healthy anger can help to improve things.  You may get angry enough to quit a dead-end job, or leave a terrible relationship, or help right a social or moral injustice like Jesus did.  Healthy anger is about God’s righteousness, not my personal rights.  Anger can be a channel to deliver or destroy.

            Evaluate your anger:

1. What type of anger am I experiencing—spewing or stuffing?

2. What’s underneath my anger?

3. Do I have all the facts—or am I jumping to conclusions?

4. Is my anger justified biblically—is it about God’s honor or my reputation?

5. What is God trying to teach me through this?

What things make you insecure?  How you perform at work or school?  What others think of you?  A relationship you are in?  Not being in a relationship?  Money to pay bills?  Your kids making bad choices?  Getting sick?  Your life not making a difference??  Do you worrying about  “What if …”?

Anxiety in its various forms is the most common mental health problem people suffer.  2/3 of new prescriptions physicians write are for anxiety.  Here are typical responses to anxiety and worry:

“If I hide my anxieties then they will eventually go away.”

“God has bigger concerns than my little worries.”

“My faith should be strong enough to keep me from being afraid.”

“If God loved me, He would take this anxiety away.”

When anxiety has us in its iron grip, we are like a car stuck in neutral.  We rev the engine (spin our mind) creating noise and fumes, but we don’t go anywhere.  In Judges 6:11-13, things were not going well for Israel.  The Midianites—a nomadic group of raiders—were terrorizing the surrounding countryside sweeping in periodically to steal crops and livestock.

We find Gideon threshing wheat in a winepress.  Does anything strike you as unusual? … You don’t thresh wheat in a winepress!  You thresh wheat up on an open breezy hill so the lighter chaff blows away from the wheat kernel.  Winepresses were small, enclosed buildings down in a low spot.

So Gideon is hiding in fear just trying to survive.  He is dealing with a very real threat: “What if …” danger comes?  Circumstances have stifled his effectiveness.  What fear are you facing right now?

Anxiety can motivate us to be more alert and seek God, but anxiety can also suck the life out of us.  “What if …” robs our peace and joy and drains trust in God.  Anxiety keeps us stuck in the past reliving tragedies and failures.  We forget that God wants us to embrace a future of hope and adventure with Him.

The angel of the Lord (God) calls Gideon mighty warrior.  Can’t you just see Gideon looking around “Who me?”  In Gideon’s state of anxiety, God comes to affirm him.

Even when things around you are going poorly, even when people are saying you have failed, even when you have yielded to anxiety’s paralysis, God still affirms who you are.

Gideon’s response is hardly that of a mighty warrior: “Why has all of this bad stuff happened to us?  Where are all the miracles we heard so much about in church?  Why aren’t you doing something?!”  Gideon is thinking, “What if …” God has abandoned us?”

Somehow Gideon missed God’s prophetic message back in Judges 6:10: “I am the LORD your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.”  But you have not listened to Me.  There’s a reason for the present bad circumstances, but Gideon wants to blame God instead.  He doesn’t see how God’s love and holiness work together.  Do you ever blame God for difficulties?

            1. Anxiety blames, while God affirms.

In Judges 6:14, God doesn’t defend or attack; He simply commissions Gideon to go in the strength that He will give him to correct the very situation Gideon is complaining about.  God gives Gideon a mission.  God has also given us a mission—to help others follow Jesus.  Do you feel afraid or inadequate or want to pass off the responsibility to someone else?  God doesn’t want us hiding in our oasis; He wants us engaging our world even if it feels risky … even if you don’t feel like a mighty warrior.

Erwin McManus: “The church was never meant to hide.  She was never supposed to pull the cloak over her face and hide within the darkness of a cave [or a winepress].  We must return to the world from which we ran.  We must face the dangers and challenges that filled our hearts with fear and realize that God has called us to stand in the midst and call sinners to God.”  What mission has God given you?

In Judges 6:15-16, Gideon our mighty warrior can’t believe God would use him to save Israel.  Gideon thinks influence and age are what really matter.  Gideon fears, “What if …” I fail!  The world sees power and success as marks of superiority.  Failure = loser!  So then by the world’s measurements, Jesus was a failure!

But God knows that His most useful vessels are those that have nothing left in themselves; vessels that are empty and waiting for Him to fill them.  Don’t see your brokenness as failure; rather see it as an open door for God’s filling.  God has said, “My power is perfected in your weakness!”

God is not stopped by Gideon’s human limitations.  God doesn’t shame Gideon for his human reaction, but instead promises to be right there with him to bring success, “We can do this together—your willingness, My power.”  God is looking for broken hearts and yielded wills.

               2. Anxiety paralyzes, while God partners.

There was an elderly lady who was really worried by her many troubles—both real and imaginary.  Finally, someone in her family told her, “Grandma, we’ve done all we can for you.  You’ll just have to trust God for the rest.”  A look of absolute despair spread over her face as she replied, “Oh dear, has it come to that?”  One man comments, “It always comes to that, so we might as well begin with that!”

Has it come to that for you?  Is God your first focus or your last resort?  Is He only a “pull down in case of fire” God?  God isn’t just our emergency backup; He is our daily bread.

Still in Judges 6:17-18a, hearing God’s direct message is not enough for Gideon.  He still doubts and needs physical proof—like doubting Thomas in the NT.  Gideon’s anxiety now is: “What if …” you are not really God?

Have you ever said, “God, show me You are real before I’ll commit”?  I want to see before I believe.”  We are afraid to invest in the wrong thing because it might fail!  You can’t trust God to care for your anxieties while clinging to something else.  You can’t have it both ways; you have to eventually make a choice who and what you will trust.

But God patiently accepts Gideon’s offering in Judges 6:18b-21.  He knows Gideon is anxious and afraid.  So God reveals Himself in a dramatic way.  When God asks great responsibility, He often gives greater revelation.

One last section for today is in Judges 6:25-27.  Gideon’s trust in God was building in stages.  Gideon would go tear down the altar to Baal as God commanded, but he would wait to do it at night.  He still wasn’t quite confident enough to do what God asked in broad daylight.

Gideon would call his people to fight against the hordes of Midianites, but he would twice have to ask for a miraculous sign with a fleece to make sure God would really give him success.  At each stage, God would reassure and protect Gideon.

  3. Anxiety doubts, while God reassures.

A train was overtaken by a terrible rain storm.  All the passengers were greatly afraid as they saw the lightning and heard the thunder.  In one seat, however, was a little boy who seemed to be quite calm as he sat playing with his toys.  One of the passengers turned to him and said, “I see that you are all alone on this train.  Aren’t you afraid to travel alone and in such a bad storm?”  The boy smiled and answered, “No sir, I am not afraid at all because my father is the conductor of this train.”

Do you have the reassurance that God is the conductor of your train?  He will remove paralyzing doubt when you release your life and future into His hands.

Here are a few ideas in helping address anxiety:

1. Cultivate an awareness of God’s presence in everyday small things.

2. Explore what you are really dreading:

- What consequences do I fear if this thing happens?

- How will I feel if this consequence does occur?

- What is the worst thing that can happen in the end?

- How will I respond then?

3. Replace your worries with specific prayer requests to God.

4. What truths about God should I apply to my life?  (Try 1 Peter 5:7, John 14:27, 2 Tim. 1:7.)

5. Spend time some relaxing time in worship like listening to music or walking in the woods.

6. Talk through your struggles with a trusted and wise friend.

Do the fears of this world control your life?  Does anxiety drain your faith?  Do you avoid those things God wants you to do?  Do you doubt God will really stick with you?  God is waiting to give you affirmation, power, and acceptance to climb out of the worry pit and embrace the mission He has given you.

Matt Redman’s lyrics from the song WE SHALL NOT BE SHAKEN is good to remember in our uncertain and unstable times:

When everything’s breaking
You are left unshaken
When everything’s tumbling down
You are the solid ground
Nations could be quaking
Economies failing
When fear is found all around
You are the solid ground

Our God, You are all that You say You are
You never change, You never fail, You never fade
Our God, You are faithful in all Your ways
Forever You stand, forever You reign, forever remain
And we shall not be shaken

When all around is sinking sand
For You are never changing
You will stand, the Great I Am